Deciding between Guitar Hero III, Rock Band and Band Geek was a really tough choice. In the end I decided to go with Band Geek because it had the most instruments, and for a mere $399, that’s less than $30 per instrument. What a deal! The box arrived in the mail and it was HUGE! I expected it to be big but I guess packing the game and twelve instruments into a container is harder than it sounds. I quickly unpacked it all. Everything was there; the trombone, oboe, clarinet, trumpet, tuba, violin, cello, snare, triangle, cymbals, bass drum and xylophone all looked great! It was just a matter of calling up 11 of my closest friends to come over and start jamming.

Once I had bribed everyone with Mountain Dew and Doritos, we got down to playing. The first negative aspect of the game I noticed was that you have to wait an hour and a half before you get to play the song. While this is certainly realistic, some sort of an after school practice mode would be welcome so you don’t have to wait that long. This was easily forgivable after we started the song however. We started with “Anchors Aweigh” which was a rousing disaster. Matt forgot to turn on his oboe along with four others who forgot to sync them (not naming any names!). After enduring the humiliating muffled whispers of negativity from the crowd, we started the next song, “You’ve Got To Be A Football Hero”. We nailed it! Everyone seemed to be on their game for this one. At one point Vinny was falling behind on the triangle, but there is a feature in the game where the woodwind section can tilt their instruments back and forth to give a falling player a boost and pull them back into the game, avoiding the opposing team’s jeering. Another thing we noticed was how loud a dozen people clicking and smacking the plastic controllers can be. I bet if we turned off the sound we would sound like a busy hive of alien bipedal insectoids! After our fourth successful piece we were challenged by none other than Ohio State University! We were in the big leagues now!

We have not tried online play but a lot of us really felt that the camaraderie of being in the same room together was a much more powerful experience than we could imagine being split across the planet trying to ply our trade. The experience was not only fulfilling but it was such a social event that there is no question the twelve of us are hooked. With plans on meeting every Wednesday night and a new vacuum cleaner to get the Doritos out of the carpet, I am sure this game will have a place on top of the game stack for years to come.

Lots of instruments	Hard to gather a whole band
Awesome game play	Feeding said band members
Fantastic social camaraderie	Cleaning up after said band members

-Groggy

What a cute game this is! You get to garden and raise animals! This game which has the most adorable appearance, however, has some really strange and horrifying aspects as well.

To say that this game is odd in the conflict it creates emotionally would be an understatement. At first, it’s just a few little worms running around. Build them a house and hey, why don’t you have them mate? Sure! And then, why don’t you have the father mate with his … progeny… Hey, what gender are these anyway? Did I just spy on them having sex? Well, that’s cool I guess. If Marlin Perkins can do it, so can I. So then more animals join and you have to feed some of your smaller animals to the bigger ones in order to make them happy or get them in the mood to mate. I guess that’s okay, they don’t seem to mind very much. The more animals you get the more you start finding that some species don’t like other species and you end up trying disparately micro-managing them to keep them from killing each other, often with little or no success. I hear there are these things called fences but I wasn’t having much luck using them. Not only are the piñatas themselves a hassle wrapped in crepe paper, but there is this really snotty lady who tromps through your garden reminding you of how inferior you are. There are a TON of shopkeepers and such to interact with that sometimes it is a little overwhelming. After a while there are even prospectors asking you to produce a certain number of your hard earned animals for them, to be shipped off to children intent on murdering them for their innards.

I might have come into the game underestimating the learning curve, deceived by the brightly colored exterior. None the less, I did spend a good 16 hours straight playing it! If anything it is extremely addicting, and I wish I had it for longer than I did. I might go as far as purchasing the game, though I do not know into what kind of dark pit of madness I may descend. Overall, this game wins the award for strangest game ever and I am glad I played it. I still think of my little murderous, incestuous, self-destructive animals and wonder how they are getting along on that little virtual farm in my console’s memory chip. I wonder longingly, and then try to think of something pleasant to even it out.

Cuuuuute!	Incest
My very own garden!	Fratricide
Strange dramatic neighbors!	Cannibalism

-Groggy

I was a big fan of the first Halo game. We would often gather at my house with two big screen TVs and play team death matches. Good times. Halo 2 rolled around and I was not really satisfied with the weapon balance and considered it to be a minor upgrade in graphics, major downgrade in game play. With both games present we usually preferred Halo 1 overall. So now Halo 3 is out and they have really learned from both games and have captured the best of both worlds. A fine job! The weapons are balanced, but unique enough to have their own situational purposes. No more sniper pistol of doom, no more 5 versions of the same machine gun. The maps are well thought out, and interesting (though I miss Boarding Action). The new video features are going to please a lot of machinima directors and the Forge has already produced some top-notch player-made maps available for easy download from the Bungie website. The best part is probably the very easy to use online features. We had no problem whatsoever creating games with friends, random people or in the ranked ladder. They give a sense of achievement with the ranks and experience that allows you to feel you are progressing and gauge how good your opponents are going to be.

Now, let’s get down to brass tacks. We all know that the real reason we play Halo is the tea-bagging. Well, Bungie has not disappointed here either. The crouch functionality on the controller is easy to use with quick response, so the triple-dip can be performed in a mere fraction of a second after delivering the killing blow or even done in a “drive-by bagging” manner in the rare event that someone neglects their rights as the pwner to the pwnee. In addition to that, Bungie has added some incredible options for changing your appearance as far as armor color, emblem, species, gender, armor type, etc.. I mention this because they have also added the undocumented feature of teabag flavor varieties. By merely changing your armor color, it changes the flavor of your implement of steeping. Corresponding flavors are:

Red - Bloody ass
Orange - Strange ass
Yellow - Creamy ass
Green - Moldy ass
Blue - Cool mint ass
Purple - Old ass
Brown - Original ass
Pink - Bubble gum

Each flavor is a veritable explosion of humiliation that is sure to bring a smile to the surliest of victims.

In closing I would like to say, if you like a good, solid FPS with easy access to a huge community of players, and you enjoy humiliating them with your virtual scrotum, this is the game for you!

Graphics	No raspberry flavor
Great online functionality	No button for sugar or spoon
Obviously a finished product	No counter for ‘baggings

-Groggy