I was a big fan of the first Halo game. We would often gather at my house with two big screen TVs and play team death matches. Good times. Halo 2 rolled around and I was not really satisfied with the weapon balance and considered it to be a minor upgrade in graphics, major downgrade in game play. With both games present we usually preferred Halo 1 overall. So now Halo 3 is out and they have really learned from both games and have captured the best of both worlds. A fine job! The weapons are balanced, but unique enough to have their own situational purposes. No more sniper pistol of doom, no more 5 versions of the same machine gun. The maps are well thought out, and interesting (though I miss Boarding Action). The new video features are going to please a lot of machinima directors and the Forge has already produced some top-notch player-made maps available for easy download from the Bungie website. The best part is probably the very easy to use online features. We had no problem whatsoever creating games with friends, random people or in the ranked ladder. They give a sense of achievement with the ranks and experience that allows you to feel you are progressing and gauge how good your opponents are going to be.

Now, let’s get down to brass tacks. We all know that the real reason we play Halo is the tea-bagging. Well, Bungie has not disappointed here either. The crouch functionality on the controller is easy to use with quick response, so the triple-dip can be performed in a mere fraction of a second after delivering the killing blow or even done in a “drive-by bagging” manner in the rare event that someone neglects their rights as the pwner to the pwnee. In addition to that, Bungie has added some incredible options for changing your appearance as far as armor color, emblem, species, gender, armor type, etc.. I mention this because they have also added the undocumented feature of teabag flavor varieties. By merely changing your armor color, it changes the flavor of your implement of steeping. Corresponding flavors are:

Red - Bloody ass
Orange - Strange ass
Yellow - Creamy ass
Green - Moldy ass
Blue - Cool mint ass
Purple - Old ass
Brown - Original ass
Pink - Bubble gum

Each flavor is a veritable explosion of humiliation that is sure to bring a smile to the surliest of victims.

In closing I would like to say, if you like a good, solid FPS with easy access to a huge community of players, and you enjoy humiliating them with your virtual scrotum, this is the game for you!

Graphics	No raspberry flavor
Great online functionality	No button for sugar or spoon
Obviously a finished product	No counter for ‘baggings

-Groggy