My anticipation of this game was one of the things that finally pushed me to purchase an XBox 360. From the moment I started the game I knew that my purchase had been justified. I could start by talking about the awesome graphics and realistic water effects, but as you well may know, graphics mean very little to me. What does mean a lot is immersiveness and a rich story line, both of which this game seemed to have in spades.

After a traumatic and unabashedly unexplained entrance into the world of Rapture, things are immediately creepy. The steampunk 50s aesthetics are immediately apparent with the scratchy audio and speakeasy decor. The only problem is, it’s not very lively. From there the creepiness mounts as you are introduced to various homicidal maniacs, deranged scientists and egotistical psychopaths. The images you are subjected to are enough to stir a few nightmares and induce heebie-jeebies during bathroom breaks. The story is not presented in the more traditional method of cut scenes and NPC interactions. Moments like this do happen but are rare. Instead most of the story is unfolded through the use of various tape recorders placed throughout the game. They are little clips of dialog from a wide verity of residents, some living, some dead, some you will eventually put to rest. It gives many perspectives on the story but leaves many blanks, which gives you a chance to piece together the story as you dash around killing genetically altered byproducts of a utopia gone wrong. The story ultimately arrives at some jarring realizations, twists and turns and a very satisfying finish. Satisfying at least if you do a certain something right, and if you did it wrong you deserve what you get you sick bastard.

If you were expecting a humorous review, I am afraid this time I am going to have to disappoint you. I was unable to think of anything funny about a game this fabulous, this terrifying and this flawless. I was able, however, to procure a secret cheat code that has previously never been released to the public. At great professional and financial risk to myself I am providing this code to you now.

From the title screen enter the following code:

D up, D up, D down, D down, D right, D left, Y, A, X, B, RB, LB, LT+RT, L stick press, R stick 1/2 way to the right, back, A+X, B+Y

If you enter it correctly you will hear the Big Daddy moan. This will unlock all of the unlockable doors throughout the game, all of which hide a secret tape recorder. Finding all of them will also unlock the secret achievement “OCD”.

In the likely event that you are not planning on re-playing the game but would still like to hear the messages on those tape recorders, I am providing them here. ALERT! These are spoilers, so if you have not completed the game you should NOT listen to these!

Medical Pavilion, Pharmacy	Neptune’s Bounty, Cigar store	Neptune’s Bounty, Liquor store
Smuggler’s Hideout, Splicer hideout	Smuggler’s Hideout, Under the docks	Arcadia, Train car in tunnel 2
Farmer’s Market, Bee hive	Farmer’s Market, brewery	Fort Frolic, Backstage
Fort Frolic, dressing room bathroom	Hephaestus, Glass case	Rapture Control Central, power station, underwater
Olympus Heights, Behind desk	Point Prometheus, mess hall

Incredible story line	Killing little girls for slugs
Most immersive game ever played	Induces nightmares
Flawlessly constructed	Not much funny about it

-Groggy